Rosehedge/Multifaith Works Blog

Friday, April 20, 2012

I Felt Like I Was Loving Him

In the spring of 2009, our son Ryan, then 20, moved to Capitol Hill. We were thrilled to have him so close again, and we have priceless memories of visiting him in his apartment there and spending time walking through the neighborhood with him. That was before we had ever heard of Rosehedge, or Multifaith Works; unfortunately, we didn’t know that there was an agency right here who could have offered support to Ryan in his recovery from addiction and in coping with his Hepatitis C treatments. Support that would have been understanding and supportive of the unique challenges he faced as a young gay man.

In the summer of 2009, our son Ryan died of a heroin overdose after reuniting with his old, using friends. We had the great gift and privilege of spending 17 days with him at Harborview Medical Center beforehand…and holding him in our arms as he died. It was in our grief and efforts to make sense of life without our son that we found what was then Multifaith Works. We gathered a group at our East-side church of people who wanted to get involved in serving those suffering from HIV/AIDS, and came to CareTeam training. But while I waited, anxiously, for the day of the training, I began to come into the office to help in whatever small way I could.

One of the many, many painful things about losing a child is that you have spent your life nurturing them, loving them, meeting their needs…then all of a sudden there seems to no longer be a way to love that child – they are gone. But I found, during my Fridays spent stuffing and sealing envelopes or putting together CareTeam manuals, that I felt like I was doing something for Ryan. I felt like I was loving him.

And so, each Friday I make the drive from Redmond across the bridge to Capitol Hill, with the goal of serving the people who make Rosehedge/Multifaith Works what it is, as well as knowing that as I do so, I am loving Ryan. And for that, I am truly thankful. 

Linda R.
CareTeam Volunteer

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Saving the World One Person at a Time

My name is Jonathan and I have lived in Seattle for just over two years.  I came here to start my graduate studies in counseling psychology, and have fallen in love with the climate, the landscape, and the culture. On top of grad school I also maintain a small Reiki practice which helps heal and care for people while paying the bills.

I found Rosehedge/Multifaith’s Shanti program when I was looking for a meaningful way to give back for all the blessings I have received in my life. As I trained to be a therapist I realized how expensive and difficult it can be for some to obtain therapy, and desired to offer a healing, therapeutic relationship to someone who had been disempowered. When I discovered that Shanti served people who are stigmatized by society and lonely I knew I had found my match.

As a young man I often felt an impetus to make a grandiose change in this broken world.  Try as I might — and I actually did try! — I couldn’t manage to find a solution for the problems of the whole world. The Shanti program taught me something invaluable: I can’t make the whole world a better place, but I can make one person’s world a better place by saying that they matter.  When asked what it is that I do at my volunteer organization, I say that I am saving the world, one person at a time.

My relationship with my Shanti partner is practically holy to me. It is such an honor to hear my Shanti partner’s life story, to sit with them in sickness and grief, and to play and celebrate the beauty of life together.  Though I have enjoyed board games my whole life, I had never experienced such satisfaction over a game of Backgammon until I started playing with my Shanti partner. The two of us have an incredible rapport, sometimes communicating just with facial expressions and shrugs. My Shanti partner doesn’t communicate feelings very often, but recently they returned from a trip and said, “Hey, I really missed  you,” when we reconnected. The truth is, I really missed them too. And if it were not for Rosehedge/Multifaith Works’ Shanti program, they would still be isolated, lonely, and not have someone like me to say, “I missed you, too” when they get home.

So, I am saving the world, one person at a time. I am sure I will start to reach more people when I work as a therapist, and I already provide healing energy work with my Reiki practice, but nothing will compare with the kind of relationship I have with my Shanti partner. The relationship has made me thankful for every person in my life who has walked with me, through hard times and good. The relationship has made me a humbler man, thankful to receive the stories of someone very different than me. Ultimately, I have grown as I have learned to bless them in their journey.

Jonathan M
Shanti Volunteer

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

What Being a Shanti Volunteer Means to Me

The few hours I spend with my Shanti partner each week is a chance for me to not have to deal with my issues, my life, my problems, etc.  In many ways, it’s a vacation from my week, as it’s my chance to witness someone else’s path, their highs and their lows, and a chance to feel many different feelings without having to own them. 
 
Volunteering with my partner is my opportunity to be there for someone else.  I’d love to say that I’m working while volunteering, but it never feels like work or something that I have to will myself to do.  I feel like I’m spending time with one of my most favorite people in the world.  Perhaps I look forward to being with my partner so much because he’s such an amazing person.  In all honesty, most of the time I feel guilty for enjoying the time with my partner so much, and maybe I should feel like it’s harder than it is.  But it isn’t hard; it’s naturally easy.  The time I spend with my partner is the highlight of my week each and every time… whether he is in a good mood or going through something tough.  I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

My partner is, by far, the bravest person I know.  He’s intelligent, hysterically funny, and the moments I spend with him are all in Technicolor in comparison to the rest of my week.  He doesn’t know it, but he helps me more than I help him.  He stops me from stewing in my own problems, he gives me perspective on my life, and he keeps me from narrowing things down in the cave of my own mind.  By talking about his things, he teaches me to face the toughest of things in my own life.

Every day I try to be a little bit more like my partner.

I learn so very much from my partner.  In many ways we have an older brother, younger sister relationship, and I cannot help but feel that I never want the days to end because I will never stop learning from him.  I learn from his strength, his experience, his perspective, his openness, and in so many other ways I cannot even begin to describe.  I’m also learning how approach my issues with a laugh and a joke, as he does.

More days than not, I end up at some point in our time together laughing so hard that I have trouble breathing.  More days than not, I walk away from our meeting wishing I could introduce him to everyone I know.  In fact, that’s the hardest part of being paired up with my Shanti partner: not knowing each other outside of our Shanti relationship.  He’s the truest sense of the word mensch.

My partner is the bravest person I know, not because he is stoic, but because he openly admits some of the hardest feelings people ever have to face.  He does it usually with a laugh, but he delves right in and he never shies away from the hardest of battles or feelings.  He lets me be there, and that, in itself, in my book, is one of the bravest things anyone can ever do.

Erica L
Shanti Volunteer

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

CareTeams - Unconditional Friendship

I am very thankful for the moxie of the CareTeam Staff.  I was matched with a CarePartner, an individual living in HIV/AIDS and/or a former chemical dependency, with whom I became fast friends.

I would like to think that my relationship with my Care Partner is unique. I am friends with a man that happens to have AIDS and a former chemical dependency; I am not assisting an HIV+ man. But as I think about the time and attention the CareTeam Staff at Rosehedge/Multifaith Works dedicated to finding the right match, I have the sneaking suspicion that every CareTeam member's relationship is like my own.

Though I have since moved from the Seattle area, my CarePartner and I stay in close touch. Rare is the discussion about his HIV status, our phone calls gravitate towards the mundane: cooking, our families, the weather... Just like any two old friends. I am grateful that he has strong support from his other CareTeam members, but I do miss our time together. Some of our time was spent running errands, visiting food bank or the pharmacy, but we mostly relaxed on his couch, watching TV and shooting the breeze. I am thankful to have another unconditional friendship.

Khalil H.
CareTeam Volunteer

Monday, April 16, 2012

Volunteer Tim

My name is Tim and I’m a current volunteer of Rosehedge/Multifaith Works.  I would like to share my volunteer experience with you. When I first heard about Rosehedge/Multifaith Works, I was working a full-time job and had no idea or thought of giving time to others by volunteering. My life and health took a turn for the worse and I found myself unable to work and dependent on the generosity of volunteers and others.

These days I have a lot of time on my hands and I was looking for a way to fill my time in a positive way.  A friend told me about Rosehedge/Multifaith Works and what they do.  I volunteered the first day and received so many gifts of gratitude and love - gifts I call priceless!  I took a chance on committing to more days and the nice thing is that I’m under no obligation to do anything I’m not comfortable doing.  Actually, I’m not asked to do anything that a paid staff member would not do. I volunteered at a dinner party and I thought the volunteers would be cleaning and scraping dishes. To my surprise, I watched the Executive Director, James, doing dishes himself!

I show up now on a regular basis and sometimes it’s just to talk about my life issues with one of the many listening ears! This surprises me, because there is a lot that needs to be done but Rosehedge/Multifaith Works has shown me that I’m more than a volunteer!  Like I said, my name is Tim and I’m a Proud Volunteer at Rosehedge Multi Faith Works.

Hope to meet you soon.

Tim D.
Volunteer