Continuity, Crisis, and Communication

I came to Seattle out of a crisis situation after years in an abusive relationship, finding out I had AIDS, losing my job, and then running out of money. I started by going to the Northwest AIDS Foundation for help. One of the programs they referred me to was Shanti. I was immediately intrigued, because it’s 1 on 1 peer support rather than group. I knew it would be more difficult for me talk in a group.

I had a plan on what I wanted to do to rebuild my life, but my brain was very scattered. I knew I had to heal before I could undertake any of it.  I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions and control them.  Before Shanti, in combination with some professional counseling, I simply processed my emotions poorly and couldn’t communicate them honesty to others. It took 15 years and many wrong turns, but I may finally be where I want to be. Past traumas no longer haunt me. I am not currently in need of any social service agencies, but once in a while something happens where I need to seek help. Previously, I was too stubbornly independent. I learned that it’s ok to talk about your problems, and ok to ask for help.

Before Shanti, I had no continuity in friendships, work, and other areas of my life. I felt I never would have continuity. My first Shanti volunteer left earlier than I would have liked but we remained friends afterwards.  Same for 3 of his 4 successors. Life changes.

My communication skills improved. Even when we weren’t visiting or talking on the phone, and I was privately working out issues, they provided a focus because I was telling them everything in my head.

Shanti was invaluable to me. Even if there were no problems for me at the time, I knew someone would be there when there was a problem. In the meantime, we could just hang out or see a movie. The selection process and training is vigorous, so you get people with many great qualities. Good listening skills and an inborn ability to care foremost. There were always several things I had in common with them so there were rarely boring moments. Mine all had interests that I liked to hear about and were able to discuss my interests as well.

I’m grateful to all of them and to the Shanti program. George Orwell said, “He who knows the past, controls the present and the future”.  Now, thanks to their help I understand my past better, am in control of my present and have a roadmap for my future.

Larry C