Remembering Mom

Remembering Mom

It was Mother’s Day recently and a day I’ve had tremendous difficulties with since maybe perhaps, oh forever. Ha! My mother is Transgendered and not out about it.

Technically, I am a former Rosehedge/Multifaith Works client/volunteer, but they let me write on their blog so in reality they are still doing what they do for me, which is providing an environment in which I feel safe, cared about, respected, and can talk open and honesty, but now the environment is a virtual one. In recovery there is a useful book, Twenty-Four hours a Day. I try to look at it each morning, but sometimes forget. In it are a thought for the day, meditation for the day, and a prayer for the day. Yesterday’s prayer was. “I pray that I may not judge other people. I pray that I may be certain that God can set right what is wrong in every personality.”

That’s what I had to do on Mother’s Day.

It might have been a hard day for me. So I decided early in the morning that I didn’t want to be trifled by the universe, and was going to employ every means at my disposal to maintain a blissful state of mind. I have other challenges to take care of. Time to call in my “Army of Lovers, so to speak or higher powers to put it a different way. It’s so nice to have friends in high places, at least in my mind. Ha! Buddha, Christ, the United States, father, sisters, aunts uncles, and Rosehedge/Multifaith Works too. Go get ‘em my gentle warriors!

One of my Shanti friends exposed me to the book, “Transform your life”, by “Geshe Kelsang Gyatso” where he explains one of the crucial steps in the process is learning compassion, and walking away from selfishness, and the best way to do that was to start with your Mother. On reading that, I thought to myself, “WTF? This guy’s obviously never met my Mother!” And laughed! The explanation is so convoluted it blew my mind. Through the cycle of death and rebirth down through the eons each of us had a life giving birth to one another. What? I was someone’s mother once? No way!!

Now how to think about mom from the Christian perspective? Well there’s the Virgin Mary, maybe the greatest mom ever and the Mother Church. Mom never went to Church that much after around 1973. But did have a nice epiphany where she felt she had God’s blessing to go ahead with the sex change. My devoted Catholic sister (and a mother) posted Mother Teresa’s Prayer:

Mother Teresa’s Prayer

People are often unreasonable,
... Illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends
and some true enemies,
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
It is between you and God;
It never was between you and them anyway.

To me it describes what moms everywhere have a natural talent for doing.
Mom was difficult sure, family members are. But she was a good mom in spite of her problems and a good parent to this day now that he’s a grandfather. Someone I deeply love, to be sure, so it becomes easier to bring compassion into myself and use it.

Wishing you a Happy Mother’s day every day to you Rosehedge/Multifaith Works Moms and others with maternal and talents everywhere down to the tiniest insect!

Larry C
Former Client/Volunteer